how dark was your horse?

tell me why I sometimes think of you

with blond hair

that in a photo your mum

has combed down flat

and grown up its fluffy

what gone are you

who comes back and stands behind me

telling me of your pride and speaking

with so much love in so few words

you who envied me

you who could sing to a crowd

and me

who couldn’t hum without embarrassment?

how dark was your horse?

how rough were the seas?

why didn’t I ask that of you? where was I?

oh to see you smile

in the sunlight

and out of memory shadow

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************

More of Neil’s words …

 

“Tell Me Why”

Sailing heart-ships
thru broken harbors
Out on the waves in the night
Still the searcher
must ride the dark horse
Racing alone in his fright.
Tell me why, tell me why

Is it hard to make
arrangements with yourself,
When you’re old enough to repay
but young enough to sell?

Tell me lies later,
come and see me
I’ll be around for a while.
I am lonely but you can free me
All in the way that you smile
Tell me why, tell me why

Is it hard to make
arrangements with yourself,
When you’re old enough to repay
but young enough to sell?

Tell me why, tell me why
Tell me why, tell me why

Neil Young

truth

Birth is the expression of Truth.

not mine …

“Only Love Can Break Your Heart”

When you were young
and on your own
How did it feel
to be alone?
I was always thinking
of games that I was playing.
Trying to make
the best of my time.

But only love
can break your heart
Try to be sure
right from the start
Yes only love
can break your heart
What if your world
should fall apart?

I have a friend
I’ve never seen
He hides his head
inside a dream
Someone should call him
and see if he can come out.
Try to lose
the down that he’s found.

But only love
can break your heart
Try to be sure
right from the start
Yes only love
can break your heart
What if your world
should fall apart?

I have a friend
I’ve never seen
He hides his head
inside a dream
Yes, only love
can break your heart
Yes, only love
can break your heart

Neil Young

blood and honey

She took out her heart
(and shook it all about)
it dripped with honey and blood
she felt the hot viscous fluid
slide lusciously between her fingers
heard the drip drip drip
Splat on the concrete floor
his studio austere
white white white
all the while he stitched and scratched
and bound his stories
into tight bundles
not looking up not smelling
the ferrousness not hearing
the timpatic drips
not seeing the pleasure
in her eyes

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time a woman lived in a cave. Heart broken. Each morning she went to the nearby forest to collect sticks for her fire. Each stick smelt of despair.

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time
there was a woman who lived in a cave
with her ghosts for companions
Stars Moons Sky she sang
And the woman agreed
Swing Low Sweet Chariot he sang
And the woman agreed
Rest Your Weary Head On My Shoulder
And the woman agreed
The tunes she hummed
were all without a chorus

Polly

Polly sits in the orange chair on my veranda. All shambolic despite the suit. The grit of her day slips away between the cracks of the vinyl.

Egret Island

the green glints in the last light on the eastern side of the bitumen tar road white line running all the way south to the bottom of the country (where should there be a nuclear war we’d all be safest because the prevailing winds will save us from the deadly fog of destruction and slow death). one hundred kilometres an hour and the car hums along us on cheap sheep skin seats with orange peel and empty beer bottles as detritus. i’m looking for old landmarks this road is well traveled (i listen for memories of a baby perfect rose skin to begin crying for my milk and my foot itchy to keep going to get to the green green paddocks and peace of bush home after days with my mum her grandma and city smells and shopping centres and well meaning advice) where is the nursery sign, the famous nursery filled with heriatge plans forgotton breeds of apple trees, hyacinth bulbs? not there anymore. black water, the hill casts a shadow so the white egrets covering the mud island have grey wings (on the shady western side of the road). they launch in finding space amongst their own flying up and others landing like bees coming home and the others leaving for the hive. spots of last light change pieces of the hundred year old grass from  grey to verdant green. the cow’s who’s backbones make this countryside move more quickly and actively sopping up the last minutes of daylight as if sensing their last breath, realising their fate. two lock horns a spectacular last dance.

gift wrapped

i said i wanted life presented to me on a plate. gift wrapped (american style in a box with a shiny bow). i thought i didn’t have that. i do.

lucky me.